Not So Japanese
by Megi Keishii
Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND! Oh looky! It's a shiny box!
1. Snakes On A Plane

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English

* * *

_

I tried to get on my plane to head back home.

To the States.

Where it's not fun.

I mean, I keep getting kidnapped over here, and let me tell you. Some of those trunks are really nice! No like all trunks are really bad per say, but c'mon. These are rich people's get away cars that cost more then Bill Gates.

Yeah.

That nice of a get away cars.

Anyways!

I tried to get back home.

I really did.

But then I saw a box.

It was a cool box.

I named him Fred.


	2. Atashinchi no Danshi

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English

* * *

_

"I can't take you with me man! I tried but customs won't let me!" I said to Fred.

Fred looked at me all squarey.

"Don't give me that look! I want to take you with me too, but it's customs!"

Stare.

"I know I could put you as my carry on, but I can't! You wouldn't fit in the overhead compartment."

Stare.

"No. I won't buy a ticket for you."

Stare.

"Yes I know I have two tickets, why? Dunno, just found them lying on the ground with fishing line attached to it."

Stare.

"No, I'm not being kidnapped."

Stare.

"Yes I'm sure, Fred."

Stare.

"Marriage Contract? You really think that I signed a marriage contract without my knowledge or actual consent? Maybe it was, I mean, I never seen it again after that...That would explain the random things that have been happening..."

Stare.

"No, I don't mean meeting up with the Host Club or anything that they put my deliacte mine through. I mean the fact that I had to wear a mushroom. A yellow one. Granted it turned psychledic later on, but still. Maybe that was some weird dress to get me used to it...Oh my prunes. I signed a weird kidnapping contract! I'm going to die!"


	3. Martian Hop

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English

* * *

_

"Last call for Flight 465 leaving Ouran International Airport and arriving at JFK International Airport has closed it doors. If you missed this flight, you're outta luck." I said to my oh so cool and not so American friend.

Whom I'm sharing a seat with Fred.

"How in the world did you miss your flight? We put you on the plane ourselves!" whispered my bitch.

"Well you see, I realized, that I didn't go through Customs! And going through Customs is a very important thing for us Americans. See, I just want to one up one of my oh so radical and acein' friend who is beating me. I can not allow this friend beat me." I explained to him as it explained everything.

And it did.

"That does not help us." Said the sharing duo.

"Yeah it does. I mean, what else do English wanna-bes collect besides, mailing stamps, beer bottles, shot glasses and Jesus toast?"

"Goggles."

"Money from other countries."

"Clothes."

"No no no no! We collect stamps! I wanted a stamp in my passport! It's totally crucial to my teenage female psyche."

"You missed your flight home, for some ink on dead trees?" asked the Alien.

"Yes, and Fred told me that I signed a three year kidnapping contract. I have two years left in the contract, or else the walruses would eat me. I do not want to be eaten by walruses."

"Fred?" asked Hunny.

"Yes, Fred. Evil Sensei, Talking Forest, Energizer Bunny, Mirages, RuPaul, and Martian. Fred. Fred. This is Moe Dude, Twincest, World Leader, Marvin the Martian, Samurai Dude, and My Bitch." I said, pointing everyone to my new friend.

Fred the Box.


	4. It's Really A Political Statement

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English

* * *

_

"For the love that is all good and pinapple-y in world, why is this accursed holiday even around?" I complained to my totally and zealot comrades.

"What do you mean, Dala-sempai?" asked my gay friend.

I can't wait to have another sleepover with him. And NO! That last one didn't count cause somehow I ended up on Alcatraz, and that wasn't a pleasant experience let me tell you, I STILL HAVE THE BRUISES MAN!

"Valentines Day. Also known as Single Awareness Day and the day that most people commit the art of killing oneself on." I said, leaning back in the couch that I was inhabiting.

It was quite comfortable, but not as awesomeness to the max as the couch I had back home man. I mean, it eats you and you're all comfy to the maxness that is of the awesome!

"NO! MY DARLING DAUGHTER! YOU CAN'T COMMIT THAT ABHORRENT EVENT!" Shouted out the cowardly lion.

I mean, if you look at it, it's so there.

Haruhi, is the male version of Dorthory, but less cheery and whatnot. Kyouya is the Tin Man cause he has no heart. And this is a proven fact folks!

He intentionally made me get kidnapped for 12 hours! Do you know how ghastly that event is? I mean, I had nothing to do for those 12 hours! And I couldn't even sing or fall asleep! HE IS A HORRID HORRID PERSON THAT HAS NO HEART!

"I do have a heart. I won't be living otherwise." Said my Sensei.

Freakin' A-NESS! TOTAL MIND READER!

"I have told you before, your facial expressions explains all."

Shut up, I'm the one doing the comparing here!

"But of course."

Thank-you. Now back to Wizard of Oz and Host Club. Hunny is one of the kids from the Lollipop Guild.

Mori is …. One of those trees that hits you with apples….

Whathisface is the Cowardly Lion, cause I mean, he has no courage, he's so freakin scare of my glare.

Pitish, I met babies of the rainbow who are scarier than he is.

The twins are…. THE FLYING MONKEYS! Yessss, it explains all…..

Fred is Scarecrow, cause he can't scare off the crows either.

Bunbun is Toto, cause Toto is Bunbun.

Oh me? Why I'm Gilda, the Good Witch who sends off Dorthy to her doom and just so happens to smile at the end of the movie saying that all that she had to do was to _wish_ herself home where she doesn't have to have trees throw apples at her or have poppies trying to kill me with their pollen.

Yep, totally explains all.

"You guys are so screwed when you meet the Wizard." I said to the group before falling asleep on Haruhi.


	5. The Rundown

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English

* * *

_

"Har-Har, why are you making chocolates?" I asked my bestestest friend in the whole white world.

I mean, _girls_ are supposed to make chocolate or buy chocolate. Most likely buy chocolate cause most of these richer-than-Richie-Rich-asses-bitches would most likely step into a kitchen and die. They are **that **incapable of living.

They would be the first ones to die in a zombie attack. I would make sure.

Boys, don't do anything on V-Day. They get all of the chocolates.

Totally biased and sexist.

Way too biased and sexist.

Oh. Oh! Oh! Maybe that's why Haru-kun is making the chocolate! He's totally changing the norm or maybe he really is confirming the fact that he's gay and he's going o use me as a cover to deliver the chocolate to the men that he likes…

"To give out to the Host Club." Haruhi said.

"Do you need to use me as a cover for that? So I can deliver them for you? We can totally add it to my bunchies." I stated and pointed to the little heart shaped cakes according to the Host's favorite colors.

What?

I got bored and Fred wanted something to eat!

DON'T LOOK AT ME!

I'M JUST A POOR PITIFUL AMERICAN TEENAGE GIRL WHO KEEPS GETTING KIDNAPPED ON A DAILY BASIS AND SOON NO ONE WILL COME AND GET ME AND THEN THE NEXT THING I KNOW I'M DOWN IN AFRICA MINING DIAMONDS AND GETTING IN DWAYNE JOHNSONS WAY!

WAHHHH!


	6. You Are Stupid! You Are Stupid! And

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

* * *

My Dexter.

Oh. My. Dexter.

Oh. My. Awful. Dexter.

Just how many horrid pink covered, frilly to the max and overboard, covered in lace that reminds me of an old granny, stupid love words, boxes things can my stirring male harem have?

I swear to Dexter and Blossom, it's the whole freakish wing.

And it was spilling out of the windows, from the **third** floor.

I think I just died, just like how that one pink haired Espada dude from Bleach. The one with the creepy-ass glasses who ate one of his minions. Yeah. I died like that.

I am so gonna haunt everybody until they get paranoid.

I wonder if Krory is gay…..


	7. I'm From Transsexual Transylvania

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

* * *

"Oh my wondorous daughter! Did you make your Daddy some chocolate?" shouted out the blonde haired freak.

I wonder how he got through the country, I mean, I think I had to do some weird ass mental test.

Hehehehehehe, they were stumped by the ostrich egg that I had the guy hold.

I am that full of awesomeness.

"No, Har-Har did not. Are you blind you little nitwit-!" I just got gagged.

By the nitwit!

I seriously thinks he hates me.

Fine, no cake for him! Sensei shall have an extra one.

Wait…..

Look up, nope.

Look down, nope.

Look all around, nope.

I jumped to the left. Nope.

Then I took a step to the right. Nada.

Hands on hips. Zilch.

I brought in my knees tight. Still not here!

Nooooo! No-ness to the pelvic thrust that I'm supposed to do but I'm not doing it because I don't have my awesome hooker outfit.

FRED IS MISSING!


	8. This Is SPAAARRRTTTAAA!

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

* * *

Everybody was staring at me.

They all looked at me funny and started laughing.

And having popcorn.

Why?

It's because I'm running around everywhere, hell, even on the ceilings and crying.

Fred.

My faithful, loyal and true friend.

Is missing.

"Mmmpghf!" I cried to Sensei.

If he understands me, he is so getting that extra cake.

"Fred? He is currently putting his empty mind to use, by holding some of our sweets." Sensei said calmly, pointing to the corner that is being swallowed by the sea of pink.

I gulped.

FOR FRED!


	9. Waterboy

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

* * *

It's for Fred.

I can do it!

He would do it for me!

I can do it!

It's for Fred!

I can do it!

I can do it all night long!

Yes!

I can dive into this sea of pink, ruffles, lace, and sharp pieces of cardboard.

I can do it!

IT'S FOR FRED MAN!

So I did it.

I dove.

And dove.

And dove.

And still kept diving.

This is going to be long.


	10. Fox in Socks, Wocket in Pocket

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

* * *

I do not know how long I have been swimming.

Yes, that diving turned into swimming.

For a really long period of time.

"Oh! Oh! I can't believe my luck brother." Said one voice that sounded vaguely familiar.

"Oh! Oh! This is quite a refresher!" said a similar sounding voice.

Dude! I know them! It's Alan Rickman and Jeremy Iron's voices! They should speak together to create the world's most perfect male voice!

"Take a look brother, see how she's just falling and falling?"

"Maybe she's bewitched by all of the boxing?"

"Yeah uh, sure. Who are you gay people? And why do I hear YMCA?" I asked the two twins who just appeared, they kinda look like failed attempts at being the Chesire Cat and Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum….

I mean, they have red hair, stripped shirts with shorts that have suspenders, a striped tail, baseball caps, cat feet and a crow on each of their shoulder.

LAME SAUCE TO THE MAX!

"We are the Brothers Paradox."

"We love wearing woman's frocks."

"As twins go, we are kinda lame."

"So let's play a card game."

"Sure, but if you lose, I am not the one to blame." I said to the two failed people. "So who are you people again?"

"We are twins who like to rhyme."

"In fact, we do it all the time!"

"This is sounding like a nursery rhyme." I commented before laying down a card and picking up another.

"You may think it's rather crass."

"But you can stick your card right up your-"

"Badass! Your beaver is fully exposed, I so win." I said, laying down my cards.

"Oh! Oh! But our game is just about to begin!" said Dee. His name is Dee. Cause I just dubbed him that.

"Got any gin?" said DeeDee. And yes, his name is DeeDee. Better than Dum.

"No, how about I kick you in the shin?" I asked.

"That would be quite the spin on the skin." Said DeeDee. Or was that Dee?

"That would be quite the sin." Said the other one.

"How about the chin?"

"I wouldn't be able to grin."

"Can I kick you in chin? While you're in a bin? On the skin? On the fin, with a pin?"

"Maybe if we're in an inn."

"And with a straight pin."

"And with this card, you don't stand a chance." Said Dee, or is that DeeDee?

"And I'm not wearing any underpants."

"Is that true, brother, or are you just saying that be rhyming?"

"I didn't want to throw off our timing."

"Wait! Wait! It's time for a surprise attack, you better watch your back!" I said when I saw Dee checking DeeDee checking under the table that just appeared, or was it DeeDee checking on Dee?

"Wait! Wait! Am I also rhyming too?"

"We haven't gotten a clue." They both said at the same time.

DUUUUUDE! The world's most perfect male voice, right there! Damn, I should have brought my recorder.

"This is something out of Dr. Seuss." I said.

"And we can't stop staring at your caboose." They said again.

"Rejected!" I said.

"We should have suspected."

"I am awestruck." I said to them, laying down my cards. Go fish!

"It seems we have run out of luck."

"It's just a card game, who gives a-"

"Buck! You guys so owe me money! Then that way I can screw the rules! Money please!" I said, demanding money from them.

"Only if you can squeeze a sneeze from these trees."

"Trees? What trees?"

"These trees!"

"They look like string cheese in the breeze!"

"The sea breeze agrees."

"So to cure this disease, you must have a go on this trapeze."

"I am unease."

"With expertise,"

"You can do this with a wheeze."

"Am I going to get fleas?"

"With ease."

"I'll knee you in the knees." I glared at them.

"We have bees who agrees with this reprise."

"Will I get to tease the bees, on the seas, with keys shaped liked peas, in the trees?"

"Only if you seize,"

"This cheese."

"It's shaped like peas."

"It taste like cream cheese."

"I'll have it please." They handed it to me, and I ate it.

It tasted like Chinese in the deep freeze.

The next thing I know I am sitting in a teakettle pot with a mouse.

"Have you seen Fred?" I asked the mouse.

"Twinkle, twinkle little bat," started the mouse.

This mouse reminds me of a louse.

"I will hit you with a cat." I said.

That shut him up.

"I repeat, have you seen Fred?" I asked the mouse.

"Oh! It's time for tea!" said a voice and opened up the teakettle, dropped four spoonfuls of tea.

Hey, that means there is three people! The extra one is kettle, cause it feels lonely.

"You pour that tea on me, I will hit you in the weewee with a palm tree, I will go whoopee and have a jubilee as I watch you holding your weewee as you drown in potpourri." I shouted, and then next thing I know, I'm being picked up and being held by a giant eye.

I KNEW BIG BROTHER EXISTED! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!

That, or I landed in Lord of the Rings.

I want my precious! My precious!


	11. Poppies Have It In For Me

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English

* * *

_

"Why would you do that, Alice?" asked the giant eye.

"First off creepy Overlord of Gayness, my name isn't Alice and have you seen Fred?" I asked the giant eye.

"Fred?"

"Yes, Fred. Fred is my most faithful, trustworthy, be there in a pinch friend. He is very important to me."

"Sounds like Fred might be with the Queen."

"Does she speak in third person like most royalty and rich bastards? And say 'We are not amused.'?" I asked.

"She has a fondness of beheading people." Said the violet eye.

"Want to have some cake?" asked a rabbit.

"Aren't you late?" I asked the rabbit.

"Late for?" he asked.

"The cake at the Queen's palace."

"Oh! I'm late, I'm late!" he said.

"Yo! Crazy Alien dude! Mind throwing me to rabbit?"

"Sure thing Alice!" he said.

"My name isn't Alice you evil Gay Overlord!"

* * *

Red, red, and law books is what I saw all around me.

Crazy ass man!

"You, off with your head, you are interrupting my studying." Said the Queen who looked like My Bitch, but with boobs.

Wow, weird ass dopple ganger!

"I will let you have my head if I can Fred." I said.

"Fred is over there." She said, pointing to the big as a freaking house box.

"Thanks, bitch. I said and went inside. "There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home."

* * *

"_DeeDee, wake up DeeDee_." Said the low voice that sounds familiar. "_DeeDee, don't make me use Blackie_."

"_Mur-her_."

"_Blackie, wake up DeeDee_."

Ow! Heavy weight on my uterus! "_I'ma wake, I'ma wake_!" I said.

"_Good, now it's time to go and rake rocks_."

"_Daaad, why do I have to go rake rocks?_" I asked.

"_It's your chore. Now wake up_!" he said.

Wait, Dad? Raking rocks?

ARE YOU SAYING THAT I'M HOME IN THE STATES AND THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE AT BEING IN JAPAN HANGING WITH RICH BASTARDS WAS ALL A DREAM?

Say it isn't so! I didn't get to dress up Kyoya with a pipe and make him into a caterpillar!

No!


	12. Where In The World is Waldo?

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English

* * *

_

This can't be true.

I know it's not true.

I was just doing the Leap of Faith into a room filled of pink boxes trying to get Fred back.

This. Isn't. True!

I am still in Japan, in a coma.

Yeah, that's right, a coma.

This is all a weird ass dream.

When I wake up, my harem will be sitting in my room with Kyouya hovering over me, demanding that I do my homework.

This is all a lie. Just like that cake.

* * *

"_DeeDee! The rocks ain'' goin' to rake themselves_!" shouted the old man.

"_I'M NO' HERE! I'M NO' WALDO_!" I yelled at him.

The old man came over and slapped me upside the head.

Ouch!

"_You're no' Gibbs! I don'' care if you were givin' me a wake-up call! I AM NOT HERE! I AM CARMEN SAN DIEGO!_"

"_You finish rakin' those rocks, I'll give you some Boba-Bola, Yanilla flavor_." He bargained.

"_Throw in some of your s'ash of flakey wafers from England_."

"_Deal_."

"_SCORE! Rocks! I command thee ta move to ze driveway! Wai'….my old man just slapped me upside the head….an' it hurts….. NOOOOOOOOO!_"

"_Shut up DeeDee_!" yelled out my brother from his car that he loves so much.

"_SHUT UP ELKLY! I'M WALLOWIN' IN PITS OF DESPAIR THA' IS KNOWN AS SELF PI'Y AN' THE HARSH RELAITY KNOWN AS LIFE! DO YOU WAN' ME TA BE A MEDDLIN' SIS'ER WHO GOES THROUGH YOUR STUFF AN' FINDS THINGS Ta BLACKMAIL YOU WITH? HUH?_"

"_YOU ALREADY DO THA'_!"

"_WASN'' MY FAULT THA' YOU LEFT A LIGHT UP BLUE CONDOM ON THE FLOOR_!"

"_YOU SWORE THA' YOU WOULDN'' SPEAK OF IT AGAIN_!"

"_THEN ALLOW ME TO WALLOW IN THE SELF PITIES THAT IS OF LIFE AND BE AN EMO ANGSTY TEENAGER!_"

"_NO' IF YOU'RE GuNNA PLAY THA' EMO KID SONG_!"

"_YOU'RE NO' MY SISTER SO I CAN'' STEAL YOUR MASCARA OR YOUR SKINNY JEANS! SO I CAN'' PLAY IT_!"

"_GOOD! NOW QUIT STEALIN' MY CLOTHES_!"

"_QUIT LEAVIN' THEM IN MY ROOM OR IN PLACES WHERE I CAN FIND THEM!_"

"_I HID THEM IN THE DARK DEPTHS OF MY CLOSET!_"

"_AIN'' DEEP ENOUGH! I FOUND YOUR BEER SHIRT! IT'S NOW MINE! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA_!"

"_DeeDee! Quit an'a'onizin' your brother, and Elkly, quit makin' fun of your sister_!"

"_HE/SHE STARTED IT_!"

"_And I'll end it! Get back to work now!_"

"_Yes boss_!" We both said, Elkly went back to sleeping in his car, and I commanded the rocks to move.

I am going back to Japan, whether Sir-I-Think-I-Am-Gibbs-And-Must-Have-My-Name-Hyphened likes it or not.


	13. I AM THE OVERLORD OF CLEANING! FEAR ME!

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English

* * *

_

"_What cha doin'_?" asked Elkly who came into my domain. Where it clearly states 'no meddling teenagers and their dumb dog' allowed.

"_Plottin' your demise tha' involves you gettin' dressed up as a chick who lost her way across the Savanna Desert and tradin' you for camels so we can go rob a tomb and be all epic like_."

"_I wan' a horse_."

"_No, they're lame, we're gettin' camels. After we rob the tomb we go across the Himalayas where we get caugh' in a snow storm, almos' kill each other, after we cross it we will be in China where we learn Chinese lightin' quick, take a pit stop at Uncle's place. Then after I leave you there so I can have a informan' there, I go back to Japan and live out the res' of my High School career_."

"_Why_?"

"_I signed a three year kidnappin' contract. I still have two years left, I get ta leave the country without any kidnappin's in my first year of college._"

"_Wh_-"

"_Begone, I have to negotiate the price for your Tazer ta get tickets_."

"_My Tazer? C'mon man! That's my car_!"

"_You have no license, therefore no use for it. 'Sides, you told me that I could_."

"_When?_"

"_A year ago, when you were drunk, playin' 21 with Larry, Botte and Mom. You told me after 'the chainsaw of accusations' that I have full legal right ta ya car incase you should ever get your license taken away from you. You signed it and we got Larry, Botte, Mom and some hobo to sign it and witness it. I also have video footage_."

"_I demand to see it_."

I pulled out the tablecloth that he wrote on. "_Here, it says and I quote 'I, Elkly Bex Cain, big brother of Dala Cain, first born of Lebra Cain and Yat Cain, grandson of Fharbotte an' Gary Mikus and Mawerence an'Dabby Cain, hereby grant full authority to Dala Cain ta do whatever she so pleases ta my Tazer, license plate 763 GHYE, if the time should come if, or when I lose my license in the future.' And here are the signatures. Wan' me ta show you the footage_?"

"_…Damn, when ya goin' ta take over the world_?"

"_No' my job, that's Larkus's. I get ta be the top M.A.I.D. Overlord._"

"_A maid overlord? You're goin' to be an overlord of cleanin'_?"

"_No, M.A.I.D. Mayhem And Insanity Destruction Overlord. But yes, part of that contract is that I clean his palace when he's in Canada and take care of his Caucasian Ovtcharka when he's no' in Canada_."

"_Caucasian what?_"

"_Ovtcharka, aka Mountain Dog._"

"_Uh huh…_"

"_Don'' doubt us Elkly, or else you're gunna be on the list_."

"_List?_"

"_Yes to be Purdged_."

"_Like Tron_?"

"_Yes_."

"_You're horrible_."

"_I'm best friends with Megan Parker_."

"_I'll leave_."

"_Good boy_."

"_Woof_."

Oh yeah, I am so heading back to Japan to my harem.

I so rule.


	14. It's Like a Cockroach, Just Can't Die

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English

* * *

_

"Hey, where is Da-chan? I haven't seen her since Valentines Day, and I got her a white gift!" said Hunny, crying into Mori.

"The last we saw of her was when she swan-dived into the box of chocolates to get Fred." Said the DNA sharing siblings.

"Is it me, or has it grown?" Asked my ultra cool best friend who hides stuff in my room.

Not that he knows yet.

The rest of my harem looked at it.

"Now that you mention it, I think it has." Mentioned my Sensei.

"Do you think that we should go in?" asked Hunny.

"No! We can't loose our precious daughter!" shouted out the being that really gets on my nerves.

"I'm not going anywhere." Deadpanned my best friend who plays along with the Evil Lord of Dumbness.

"I miss Da-chan! WAHHHH!" cried my little huggable person.

"_I….HAVE RETURNED! ALLOZEY_!" I screamed as I pushed boxes around me. "_DIE YOU EVIL ORGANISM OF PINK! DIE_!"

I told you I would return.

Oh! And Fred is now Fredette, with little Freds!


	15. Mission: Disney Overload

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS KNOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

"Don't look at me! I don't know how Fred-ette got to have kids, but she has kids, so deal with it." I said to them when I managed to drag myself over to my harem.

"Hey, did it multiply just now?" I asked later when I stared at the boxes, I swear that one to the right was just one big box, now it's five big boxes.

"We have no idea what you are talking about." Stated my teacher of all epic coolness and whatnot.

"You're just trying to get me to think that is was all a dream, and I accidently ate one of your guys' chocolate which was made by a Black Magic Member who put in a love potion but it reacted badly to my chemical make-up and made me hallucinate. Didn't you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Sure, I believe ya."

"Besides, she usually has black wrapping on her chocolates."

"Did she get her Love Potion from Madame Rue?"

"Who?"

"Madame Rue."

"Who is she Da-chan?" asked my live teddy bear, and the best part about this teddy bear that he judo flips you! ITS WAY RADICAL!

"She's the gypsy with the gold-cap tooth."

"Where does this commoner live?" asked the overgrown goldfish with violet eyes.

"34th and Vine, owns a pad down there."

"How are you getting this info?"

"Because the cop broke my bottle, then I had to go and get a new one."

"New one what?"

"…I just said a new bottle, the cop broke mine when I accidently kissed him."

"YOU FITHLY MONGREL! YOU'RE CORRUPTING MY DAUGHTER! YOU FIEND!"

"Shut up you overgrown Flobberworm, your opinion is rejected! Yo! Carbon copies, I need some more red cards!"

"HAI!"

Lord FlobberWorm is now drowning in a sea of red cards.

YAY!

"Why did you accidently kiss the cop?" Asked my Way-Radical-And-Is-Too-Circular-For-Words friend.

"The potion made me do it." I answered right back.

"Why did you drink it?"

"She made it up for me right on the spot! Couldn't refuse that kind of service!"

"What was in it?" asked my teacher. Wondering if it had any side effects that could make me go crazy.

Pitish. He's the crazy one.

"Dunno, but it tasted like turpentine and looked like Indian ink."

"That doesn't look sanitary to me!"

"Shut up Tantor!"

"What?"

"Nothing Wazowski. Just know that I'm watching. I'm watching you Wazowski."

"I think she's on something Kyoya." Said Haruhi.

"Of course I'm on something, I'm on Kitty-Sleep Sleep milk, while learning my scales and arpeggios."

"I think she needs some sleep. She is purely delusional."

They all watched me as I danced then tango on top of the ever-growing boxes.

"Ta-ra-ra-BOOM-de-ay, ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay. La da da dee de dee de de. Dee de dedoom. Ta-ra-ra-BOOM-de-ay, ta-ra-ra-boom-dea-oophh!" I sang.

"She's going down."


	16. I May Not Be A ExplorerI'm A LIBRARIAN!

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

"Dude. That was trippy. " I said to my awesome male harem, when I arrived to the quarters of said people.

"What was?" asked Kyoya.

"I dreamed that I went back to States, sold my brother off for some camels, then made him my informant in China, I met up with a gypsy and she gave me a potion that made me kiss everything in sight, then after that I was a French cat learning how to sing. And I was dancing the tango." I said, flopping onto a couch. Ignoring the growing amount of girls and some guys crowding around me.

"What happened?" cried out one boy.

Him.

I know him.

Where do I know him?

Oh yes, I use him for paintball practice.

What? I get bored.

Oh so bored.


	17. You Know You Want To

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

"Da-chan~" sang out my lovely bunch of coconuts.

"Yes'um?"

"You don't have giri-choco or honmei-choco?" he asked, looking sad.

"Giri-choco? Honmei-choco?" I asked. "What in the name of random blueberry muffins are you talkin' about?"

"Giri-choco is _courtesy chocolate _and honmei-choco is _chocolate of love_, to put it into layman's terms." Said my teacher of all things regarding the wonderful country that I live in.

"Ah."

"Did you get anything white today? Chocolate, jewelry, marshmallows? Lingerie, cookies?"

"Who in the world would give a girl lingerie? What if they got the wrong size? That would totally make the chick feel bad by saying she needs to lose weight or gain weight! They'll become anorexic or bulimic! Then they'll die! DON'T GIVE THE GIRLS LINGERIE UNLESS YOU STALKED THEM SO YOU KNOW THEIR SIZES!" I shouted at my teacher, swaying him back and forth like he was a Damnit Doll.

"DON'T DO IT MAN!"


	18. Kaito Kidd

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

"You." I stated to that one guy who I paintball at.

"Me?" He pointed back to himself.

"No, the person behind you, second to the left messing with the doves. No, not you. You! Yeah you! I know you!"

"You know Kaito?" asked my Too-Circular-And-Triangular-For-Words-Sensei.

"Yes, I've seen him around with the doves, and a white cape that turns into a hang-gilder. We've have interesting convos on my balcony. Anyways, I found your monacle!" I shouted to him and tossed it.

"But you!" I went back to the dude who pointed to himself.

"Yes?"

"Why are you here? Oh! Wait! Don't tell the Great Madame Dala! Madame Dala knows all! You… you are here to be entertained by someone you like!" I said in a dramatic pose.

While grabbing a tablecloth and fastened it around my head for extra measure. Don't want glittering hearts in my hair thankyouverymuch!

"Sugoi!" he said.

"You are here to be entertained by….the great, the one, the only…. LORD FLOBBERWORM!" I shouted and pushed him into the direction of said dirt-spitting insect.

Oh yeah.

I'm good.


	19. Ninja, Ninja Rap!

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

Sneak.

Sneak sneak.

Sneakity-sneak-sneak.

"_Cowabunga!_" I shouted. When I appeared behind the person who wants to be related to Ponyo, but is a fake.

Said person jumped up really high.

And hit the ground.

Really hard.

"_Oh yeah. Cowabunga dudes. Cowabunga."_


	20. Look! I Got You A Me!

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

"Da-chan! I have something for you! It's for White's Day!" shouted my awesome little short stack.

"Eh? Eto… oh yeah. The whole getting something white and whatnot." I said.

"Hai! Here it is!" shouted Hunny, tugging me to a giant-ass….thing that was covered in a red cloth.

He pulled it and viola! There was a me!

I mean seriously.

He got me a freaking white chocolate statue of me!

He so rules!


	21. 4 Twins?

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

"Wow. So if I eat this, would it be considered cannabalism?" I asked myself as I sat ontop of my head. Then reaching down and grabbing some hair to eat.

"Dude~! This is totally a Kodak moment! Yo! Ultra-Cool-Sensei who rules the Club! Could you take a picture of me with me? Oh! And the twins! Then that way it be all epic like and full of Twiny-ness goodness!"

Kyouya just looked at me. And then sighed.

"Yosh! Yo! Mirror images of that is Twincesty! Come and take a pic with me and me!"

"Yosh!" They shouted, giving me the thumbs up and rushing over.


	22. Ouran SUPAHHEROS!

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

Oh yeah~

Took some epic pictures~

"_Oh yeah._

_I'm da bomb._

_Whose cool?_

_Why I'm cool._

_Whose rad?_

_Why I'm rad._

_Whose bad_

_Why I'm bad_." I sang as I skipped around the Photograph Club waiting for my pictures to be picture-fied.

When it hit me! Right in the face.

It really did.

My most brilliant plan that has ever been produced in my little devious mind.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! May the spirits be with you!

….

It's brilliant I tell ya!

BRILLIANT then all of the colors of the world.

MWUAHAHAHAHAHA!


	23. Best Stuff There Is Man

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

It's freakin' genius man.

Best stroke of freaking' genius-osity there is.

Like Grade A, the kind that comes from Cuba good.

That freaking-ah-la-dicking-awesome.


	24. Sing! SING FOR ME WOMAN!

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

"Hello~! Members of Ouran High! Home of the rich and powerful people of the world! I'm your host today~! Today's weather is looking like it came out from the Fuji Islands with all of the bird calls and annoying blue-skies. Right now we have here today our one and only Chairman to explain some oh-so crucial shit that you're all wonderin' and ponderin' about!"

"Oh-ho~!I'm the Chairnman, do you have questions for me before I start?" asked Chairman Souh, leaning forward with his hands steeping like all powerful and dimwitted people do.

"Why yes all money and making decisions important person. Why did you start up the Radio Club? Couldn't be cause you want people to listen to my voice 24/7."

"Since the Newspaper Club hasn't been doing such a good job as we thought it would to spread out some of the news, I thought that maybe some people would listen more to the broadcast-"

"Sou ka." I interrupted. "So it isn't for the sound of my voice?"

"Iie."

"How mean! Now what are some of the rules that I may or may-not abide by?"

"Well it has to be school related announcements-"

"So not."

"Report weather everyday-"

"That's why we have the boobtube for."

"Announce winners for contests-"

"In a totally obnoxious way that inflates their ego. Check."

"Contests-"

"Like we already don't have enough rivalry. Double Check."

"Local news-"

"Like anyone cares about the normalars. Triple Check."

"No swearing-"

"Should have picked someone else who isn't an American and likes to say 'shit' a lot."

"Latest fashion-"

"That's why we have Lady Baba for. Dress up like a psychopath and your good to go."

"Reviews-"

"And this interview is now over old geezer!" I said and shoved him out the door so I have the whole room to myself! MWUAHAHAHAHAH!


	25. Whooosh

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

"Now onto the important stuff! Who here is still listenin'? Cause if not I'm going to be blowing this really loud and radical looking air-horn to make sure. I need to hear you all say 'Carrot chips are the shiz-niz! Than that way I can tell if you're listenin' or not. Now, on the count of 3! Ich! Ni! San!"

Insert tumbleweed.

Oh well. Not my fault. I did give them a fair warning.


	26. They're Orange!

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

I waited. Even stuck my head out the door to hear. Must want to hear the horn for a while.

Totally kosher.

I have earplugs.


	27. Insert Her!

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

Insert dramatic, loud, obnoxious air-horn sound.

"Still there? Now on the count of 3! Ich! Say 'Carrot chips are the shiz-niz!' Ni!... San!"

"CARROT CHIPS ARE THE SHIZ-NIZ!" I heard.

Ah, music to my ears.

"Right! Now for the rest of the day we are going to be interviewing my fellow club member Emily Wilson whom I met on my kidnapping event number three hundred and forty-nine point two last year~ Now Emily-"

"What?"

"Why don't you tell us about your oh so radicalness and why we should bow down to you?"

"It's always the quiet ones."

"You're going to murder us in our sleep and take over the world, aren't you?"

"Hai!"

"Well, you it folks! We have a psychopath in the making that is related to the Boogie-Wu-Man! That's all for today~ or at least until lunch-ish time~! Be-Be-Be-Be that's all folks!"


	28. The Show Must Go On!

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

"Attention Students of Ouran High, sorry to interrupt your regular show for today, but I have some news. This is extreme folks! It involves the Host Club!" I started off in a normal voice, and then went into my gamer voice.

"They have decided to continue the line of the pretty boys serving to a harem by having auditions by a select few. Now these are privat-What the hell?"

"What is it?" asked Emily, the school heard.

Everybody was on they're seats.

"TELL US ABOUT THE HOST CLUB!" yelled out some of the girls from 2nd year.

Oh.

Ow.

I need pain meds.

KYOUYA!


	29. I Want My Toostie Pop Back!

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

Ow.

I mean it.

It hurts!

Who the hell let this owl in?


	30. I Demand Retribution!

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

"You owl. Are going down. C'mere!" I screamed at the owl.

The owl and I.

We had an epic fight.

DON'T STARE AT ME LIKE THAT!


	31. I Have A Hibird! NO!

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

"What is going on?" asked my skull hitting sensei with awesome medical powers.

"I! Have no ACK! GET OFF OF ME YOU STUPID BIRD!" I screamed at the owl whom was trying to build a nest in my hair.

"Get this off of me!" I whined at him.

My sensei?

Yeah, my oh so loveable sensei?

Yeah. He did nothing.


	32. Sunnydale, HERE'S DALA!

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

So there I was, just sitting in my lovely chair that I get to have cause I'm the boss man in the Radio Club.

Which is pretty epic let me tell you.

Me! A president of the Radio Club.

Maybe I can do an interview with a vampire.

You know, the one that turned me into one and locked me up in a box with weremice.

Yeah.

That one.

I think I'll name him Angelus.


	33. Whoever Wrote This Episode Should Die

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

"Hello fellow students of this rich ass snobby school! Today we have an interview with a vampire who sired me and locked me in a box with were-mice. Say hello to my little friend Angelus!"

I heard panicking voices from the rest of the student body.

Music to my ears.

Anyways!

"Don't you worry folks! We got Emily here to subdue him! Emily! What do we have to subdue William the Bloody!"

"Yes ma'am! We have various sorts of buttons and taffeta to meet with his demise." Said Emily, showing me the various sorts of torture devices.

Oh, it's a brilliant plan I tell ya!

"So Drusilla-"

"My name is not any of those names that you keep calling me! I am-" said the vampire.

"Dracula. Of course from Transylvania. Now, why did you sire me?"

"I am not a-"

"A real human being we know. We know that you a blood thirsty demonic being that has no soul and is secretly lusting after the Slayer."

"What! No!"

"Don't tell me lies, now, where is the starboard reactor?"

"Wait what?"

"The Omega 13 duh." Said Emily, and then holding up some pins and fabric in a threatening manor.


	34. This Is Called A Coupe Sit

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

Ow!

Ow!

OW!

GET OFF OF ME YOU DAMN BIRD!

Kyouya! Get this bird off of me!

"I am not going to dirty my hands with the diseases that the vermin on your head may or may-not carry." Said my sensei.

"You want me to die? You are a cruel cruel lord to treats his subjects in a terrifying manor that may or may not lead to a coupe."


	35. Clever Girl

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

"Why are you trying to kill me?" I asked my ultra cool sensei.

"There is no benefit of you dying on me. That vermin that is on your head might bite me and thus might be harmful to me. Plus it seems very fond of you." He said, writing something or another in his little black book.

I always wondered what he wrote down. I mean, it could be a death list that he's going to post one of these days on the front door to let people know who is going to die.

Or he could be lying about the zoo incident number 1 last year and he really is in touch with a shinigami on crack.

He has short-term memory loss and has to continually write everything he does so he remembers.

Or he draws perverted pictures.

Or he's writing very explicit stories.

Or he's writing down very detailed murder situations and makes sure that he's going to get away with it cause he's a rich ass hell bastard who can read minds.

Or he's secretly in a drug deal and writing out the contract.

Or he's secretly gay and is drawing pictures of himself being sandwiched between our local pranksters.

Or! He's writing down a play.

Or! He's an okama! You know, one of those people who likes to dress up as the opposite sex for a reason that I don't know about it …..yet.

I WILL FIND OUT!

Oh….the hunt…..

The hunt is on!


	36. Doyouthinkhesaurus?

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

Man, I knew that I shouldn't have done this, but nooo! I had to go into a forest with other people that I vagually knew and now we're being hunted down by these insane things that like to eat other small things.

I am one of those small things!

I would like to be uneaten thankyouverymuch!

"It's chaos." Said the Chaos man.

Dead serious, everything other word I swear is chaos. Therefore he is Chaos-Man.

"Of course it's chaos. Everything we say or do is chaos. It's unexplainable. We are terrified of the unknown and chaos. That's why most people misunderstand it and whatnot. Now for the last time. GET ME OUT OF THIS FOREST! I WANT OUT! I WANT TO LIVE THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" I yelled at the other people who were stuck in this suck ass forest with me.

We have the top hunter duo, top techs, that chaos man and me.

And we're stuck here.

In this forest with things that like to eat smaller things or gang up to take down the bigger thing and then eat it.

I am not a happy camper!


	37. Twin Power Activate!

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

Great. Now I'm stuck on a vine trying to get away from the snapping jaws on death!

No joke. I'm stuck here. On the vine with the hunter duo that has taken upon them to protect me, like I'm some helpless damsel in distress.

Someone kill these creatures or get me out of this freakin a forest!

"That is it!" I yelled at the hunter duo that was currently being surrounded by the reptiles that were trying to eat us.

"Gimme that gun!" I yelled at them. And I took the gun and start shooting off in the distance where the Big Momma was.

Said Big Momma came rushing towards us.

MWUSHAHAHAHAH! She's not going to get us. Nah nah nah nahahaha.

"Quick! To the Batmobile! NU NA NU NA NU NU NUA NUA NANA!" I shouted and dragged them to the totally awesome black car that I knew how to drive and do totally awesome 360s in.


	38. TGIF

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

"Why is there two birds on my head?" I shouted when I went inside the harem room….

It needs a new name…..

The Room Full Of Totally Gay Guys?

TRFOFGG

….

No.

TGIF

Yes.

But what should it stand for?

Thank God It's Friendly?

Thank God It's Free?

That Guy Is Free?

That Guy Is Friendly?

This Gun Is Fire?

Hmmmmmmmmm

What should it be?


	39. The Birds

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

TGIF….

TGIF….

This Gun Is Funny?

These Guys are Icky Falsifiers.

...Yes. That's what I want.

OH MY JELLY BELLYS!

THERE ARE THREE BIRDS!


	40. Feed the Birds

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

Those three birds….turned into millions. OH LOOKY! A TOUCAN!

COME HERE TOOKY TOOKY!

Ow! I really didn't mean it!

NOOOO!

THIS IS GOING TO TURN INTO A ALFRED HITCHCOCK MOVIE ON ME! I DON'T WANT THESE INNOCENT BIRDS TO BE ALL KAMIKAZI ON ME!

"Those avians aren't going to kill you, nor is this the set-up to 'The Birds'." Said my oh so cool teach, who is just watching me being pecked at by Woody Woodpecker!

The next thing you know that rooster over there is going to go 'If I'm a roo - Ah say - if I'm a rooster, I hope to be struck by lightn *KAPOW* Well, let's put it another way. "Way" that is.'

"Just wait till there's a Elvis rooster on your head and he falls in love with Chick Pea and they make sweet love on you. Then we'll talk. I'll point and laugh Kyoya, oh I'll laugh. THEN YOU WILL FEEL THE PAIN AND SUFFERRING THAT I'M GOING THROUGH! JUST WAIT!" I yelled at my not so cool teach who won't help me!

Kyoya just looked at me. "I highly doubt that."

Peck.


	41. Say What?

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

THESE BIRDS ARE GOING TO FIND THEMSELVES ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CORN FEEDER IF THEY DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!

"Ne~ American, why don't you just look at these funny little envelopes that they all have on their legs?" chorused my choirboys.

"…..They have letters?" I asked.

The tone-deaf peeps took the woodpecker-Hey! I know that one! It's a Flicker!

"Hai~ Just look, they say 'To Miss Dala Cain, We welcome you to a new year at-"


	42. Cool Dudes Have Awesome Entrances

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

"AH-HA! BOOM BABY! WITNESS MY AWESOMENESS THAT IS OF THE ENTERANCE!"

The students of this supposed 'school'. Yes, I said that with air quotes. Just stared on in wonder and amazement. I'd imagine.

What? You expect me to be all God-y and just look through the door like I'm Clark Kent or something?

You're crazy.

"_Well students, I welcome you our new transfer students. They come all the way from Japan_-"

"JUST GET ON WITH IT YOU OLD GEEZER! I HAVE FORTUNES TO TELL TO THE AIRHEADS BACK AT SCHOOL!"

"_….Please welcome the Host Club_!"


	43. Trouble Trouble Boil and Bubble

Not So Japanese

Drabble Series: This means that it will be short. Often times or not averaging about 100 words.

Summary: OMG! I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS NOW! You want me to do WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Oh looky! It's a shiny box!

_English_

* * *

The hall where the students in got dark.

Then a skull started to shine as it light up a being in a blue robe with a blue pointy hair with gold stars. Plus evil looking glasses.

He started to create smoke and then maniluplate the smoke into a bat, added more smoke and created a fluttering butterfly. Bye bye it decided to go.

I crept up after my evil sensei left and put on his hat that he left behind. My awesomeness that is my red robe trailing behind me. Kaoru and Hikaru popping up from my robe as they both looked at me then got out of my robe.

Looking like me!

YAY!

We started jumping up and down with joy! We danced and danced!

What we didn't know was that Mori and Hunny lurking behind us, along with blonde haired violet eye broom, and they took our hats!

NOOO!

"THE HATS! WE MUST SAVE THE HATS!" I yelled to my two awesome sauce Twinkies!

Soon there was a mushroom cloud of where we are as we fought. But no! The hall we were in started to fill up with water.

Water is awesome, mind you. But still. It was freaking-a-al-dicking cold!

"Ne~ Dala, I think we're in trouble…" said the twins

"Eh? Why do you say that?" I asked.

"Cause of Kyoya over there…." They said, pointing to a angry teacher.

"Oops…."

Here comes Kyoya and Haruhi…banishing the H2O….

"Shiz-niz." We all said.


End file.
